Sara 2005

I am making attempts to re-write Sara’s story to help me through the pain of somehow failing after years of trying to help her. I hope it will also help others who have had to make a similar decision and who, like me, feel the guilt of failing a much-loved friend.
Here is Sara’s story
I brought Sara home when she was 1 year old, part Flatcoat/Spaniel/BC. She was to be my agility dog. They had warned me at the Humane Society that she would take some time to rehabilitate. I was willing to try.
They found her tied to a tree. Her owners moved and left her behind. After all she was no longer a cute puppy but had grown into a hyperactive out of control dog. It was simpler to tie her to the tree and drive away. So they did.
She suffered from extreme separation anxiety. Clawing through the walls or franticly digging in the garden. She abused me, drawing blood by grabbing hold of my arms to prevent me from leaving or going anywhere. She was not biting me she was holding onto me like a child clinging to mother’s skirt. The injuries to my hands and arms went on for months. When you watched her you understood she was desperate and could not control what she is doing. She literally glued herself to me.
Walking Sara was impossible. If any person/dog/squirrel came within one hundred yards she would lung into her leash strain against the collar and scream with an ear-piercing scream that would not let up and could in fact go on for an hour. After a month I gave up saying "too bad" and taking her home. I decided to continue down the street despite the screaming. I persevered and went to the end of the block where the high school busses unloaded the students. Initially I started at 200 yds away from the busses. C/t for looking at me and or the students without screaming. Asking for complete control no movement not a wagging tail or a hair on her body c/t move 6" closer and 6"closer and 6" closer. Working towards self-control. After several weeks we were able to stand by the bus doors and have the students unload around her. Wonderful we were now able to go for walks as long as we did not meet any cats/dogs/squirrels. When people approached she would sit but wiggle uncontrollably until she was tight against that person’s leg. We tried outdoor obedience classes, but were never able to join the group. We spent our time retreating back to the car when the old screaming behaviour re-appeared as we approached the group of dogs. Eventually we were asked to stop bringing her.
I tried Ruff Love by Susan Garret; she tore her dew claws off while franticly trying to escape the confinement. Jumped through a screened widow one day when I left for work.
Agility was going be the answer to her problem. We began our agility training in the back yard and alone at the club. Winter in Canada is cold and so was the barn where we practiced everyday. I tied her too me while I set up sequences.
We began with one jump c/t "go play". At first she would tear around the barn, frantically running zoomies until exhausted. I waited until she returned to my side c/t and we started with one jump again. Then one day after several weeks and after releasing her "to go play" she started off but stopped, turned and looked hard at me returned and sat beside me. This was our beginning. She had decided that it was more fun to play with Mum. Sara was now 2
Subsequently, several days/weeks/months later we graduated to 2 jumps three, four, tunnels weaves [she learned to weave in a week], front crosses, back crosses, Reverse flow pivots, serpentines, pinwheels, box work everything except 2o2o contacts which I felt would be stressing. Sara was on her way. Her behaviour at home improved, although she still clawed at the walls when I was gone. I felt we were ready for a class situation.
Our first venture was with my own students. All knew the situation and all co-operated. Dogs were to stay well outside the fence and Sara and I would work the course. Her "sit stay" was remarkable but once I gave her release word she would run over to the fence screaming at the closest dog. She seemed satisfied with this and would return to me. Again I decided one jump c/t and eventually we were able to work a full course with other dogs outside the fence. Sara was nearing 3
Encouraged we attended our first fun trial. I tied her to me and we ran the course c/t all the way but without taking the elements. Good. She seemed focused. By the third run she was off leash and sat at the beginning and ran the course with several dogs close at hand. Success at last or so we thought. While waiting for our fourth run one dog ran over towards her and we were back to the beginning. We struggled through the summer and although Sara was able to run her courses she could do so only when dogs she knew were near her. Sara was 3
She was now at the Advance level. We started taking lessons with 5 new dogs. While the other dogs ran their sequence Sara and I did healing and playing exercises at the end of the barn. For our turn the other handlers left the fenced area, after time we eventually graduated to where they were inside the fence but if any new person/dog comes within 100 yds she starts her old behaviour.
I decide to take her to fun trail that was completely fenced. This time we would not be able to ask all 40 dogs to leave the area.
After consultation with our Vet we decided to try the drug Amitriptyline and also TTtouch. One month of this therapy we were ready for our first fun trial. It was a partial success, with only a few dogs present she was able to run her course. I felt we were on our way. Sara was now 4.
Then one day at class a new dog joined us. I suggested that while Sara ran her course she take her dog outside the fence until she felt confident around them. Both the handler and the instructor felt she would be fine. So I put her in a sit stay walked out to my Lead Out position gave her the release word and she ran like lightning screaming the entire way slammed into the poor dog’s face and than just as quickly returned to me to start her course. Broken hearted I took her home knowing we would never be able to trial.
There were 2 other dogs at home. An older hound that ignored her and a year old BC who annoyed her. She was not aggressive with either dog but did charge at the puppy for no apparent reason.
Below is the list of behaviours she exhibited that I had listed for my Vet.
　
More recent behaviour noticed at home
Lots of licking lips.
Panting more than usual
Soiling rug while I am gone for short time. It does not matter if puppy is home in his cage or with me at agility.
Massive and constant shedding
Sitting at my side, following me everywhere I go.
Needs to rest on top of me.
Won’t go outside unless I do.
Will prevent puppy from getting close to me.
Will play for short time only.
Takes her toy to her cage and plays with it there.
Can’t take her eyes of me unless I am working on computer in which case she is watching out the window.
She is trying to control herself when dogs go by the house. She whines looks at me but unless I have a treat will go bananas.
Puppy is watchful and is starting to imitate this behaviour.
　
Questions
Suggestions from a behaviour evaluator who recommends Bach flower Essences as well as the following:
Have a thyroid panel done on her
Have a full chemical panel so we get a good idea how her body functions are working. A compromised physical body will limit the progress you can make as physical conditions often are contributing factors to behavioural problems.
Consider Bach Flower Essences
Is there reason to believe that this behaviour will improve?
Is there reason to believe that it will worsen?
Would you have any other proposal we should consider?
My Veterinarian agreed to do tests if I wanted to. He explained that in his opinion the test would not show thyroid or chemical problems. He gently explained that for 4 years we had tried to help Sara and that in his opinion we had done all we could for her. He felt that she had suffered enough anxieties and that we would be kinder to give her the peace she so deserved.
Sara left us on Thursday Feb 9th 2006 . We could do no more
I have not read this for several months. Originally I thought it might help me with closure. There is no closure. After 3 years my pain is still with me.